please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
