how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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