Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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