# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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