I'm lost and stupid without you.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
