I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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