Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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