at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
