dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
