People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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