What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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