He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize