you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
