I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
