Porn is love you can see.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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