He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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