Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
