Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize