508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
