trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
