***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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