did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
