i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
