pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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