You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize