A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
