please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
