Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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