Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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