Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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