Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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