I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
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having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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