I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
