if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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