he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
