I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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