literally had 100 drinks last night.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
