fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
