do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
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It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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