Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
