The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
