So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
