omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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