why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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