Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
