Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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