i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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