In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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