I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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