Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
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Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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