Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
