My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize