oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
