you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
