I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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