My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
