I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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