My room smells like vodka and shame
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
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she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
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I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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