none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
