i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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