I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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