Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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