My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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