eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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