the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
